"Yes Sir?"

Like most husbands, I occasionally take my wife to dinner and the movies. Sounds fun right? Well, that’s not all we do. Wait a minute… I don’t mean we make out in the backseat of the car. No, as we walk from our car to our various destinations we like to watch people. In fact, my wife has often suggested that we take a date night and just go to the mall, or somewhere rather busy, sit down on a bench and simply observe what people do. In some cases it’s far more entertaining than the formulaic blockbuster summer flick we see every year. By far, the most interesting subjects of our observations are children and teenagers. Yes, while it’s funny to observe their low riding pants which also double as “mall floor sweepers” or marvel at the hair styles that remind you of “Cousin It” from the Adams family, it’s their social skills, or should I say lack thereof, that we find most intriguing. When an adult addresses the young ones they’ll often respond with, “ya”, “uh-huh”, or in some cases, they don’t even acknowledge the adult as they remain entranced by their iPhone or favorite social networking tether device. When as I was growing up, I occasionally mouthed off or showed a level of indifference. But kids today have honed their level of disrespect to an art form.

I remember (mouthy little rascal that I was) sassing and talking back to my parents. I thought I knew everything. However, particularly in my social interactions with others, I knew that I’d better straighten up and fly right. I was told that, when someone is your elder, you acknowledge that person with, “Yes sir” or “Yes mam.” If I failed to do so very serious consequences would follow, forthwith! When people who knew me growing up hear that I wasn’t the sweet little darling they saw at church or family functions, they often reply with a measure of skepticism. “You did what?” they say or, “Not you!” Yet I must reply, “Yes indeed…I was a booger!”

However, it seems that many kids today lack a general respect for their elders and simply do not care. As long as they’re hooked up to their 24-hour a day entertainment device, everyone else can do as they please. Today’s children are completely content to live that way. Of course, be forewarned. Anyone who interrupts their connection with the “life-giving” worldwide network does so at his own peril. They get anxious and irritated if they can’t check their Facebook status every 2 minutes or tweet whatever fool idea pops in their head. But, as long as they’re connected to their “faux utopia” nothing seems to matter. They’ve become a bunch of babbling little nihilists who find comfort in the bosom of modern social media. Interaction with others consists of little more than texting, Facebook messaging, or tweeting. I’ve witnessed the absurdity this obsession can spawn! I’ve seen two teens sitting in the same room, sometimes even right across from each other, and yet, rather than speaking to their friend, they’ll text instead. Come on! They’re literally millimeters away from you! Speak! You can even whisper and they’ll hear you! Is it any wonder that, when someone who lives in the real world tries to interact with them, they respond with the utmost disrespect?

Sadly, I’m beginning to see this kind of behavior from adults as well. A few months ago my wife and I were taking our son to the doctor. We were navigating the parking lot and suddenly, darting out from the parking garage, was a lady driving with her head down, texting. We slammed on the breaks, but she didn’t even notice us. She came so close to injury or death. Yet, oblivious to what had transpired, she continued merrily down the road, texting all the way. Adults have become equally consumed by these devices. We have little regard for the world around us or, more importantly, the people around us. No wonder our children have become disconnected. We ourselves are often detached and discourteous.

As adults, we should be setting a better social example of courtesy and concern instead of communicating just long enough to get what we need from the conversation. The art of conversing is no longer give and take; it’s take and take. In this age of information we’d rather communicate with devices because there’s less responsibility – less expected of us. If we ask Siri to tell us how many Oscars Meryl Streep has won, we don’t expect Siri to ask us what we think about Meryl Streep movies. The iPhone simply responds with the information we desire. No commitment. No responsibility. No need to get bogged down in real dialog. This may be why both children and adults today are so disinterested in communicating with others; they feel as if they’ll personally receive little benefit from deep and meaningful discourse.

So how do we solve this problem of waning respect that springs from this disdain for true communication? Adults must teach the younger ones what it means to walk in godliness and respect. Consider the words of the Apostle Paul in Titus 2:1-8:

But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. 2 Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. 3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. 6 Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. 7 Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, 8 and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.

Secondly, we should be respectful in communicating with everyone. They’re images of God regardless of their station in life or upbringing. The simple courtesy of looking people in the eye when conversing shows them that you’re not only interested in what they have to say, you also value them as persons. I dare say that consistent eye contact is becoming more and more rare in face to face conversation.

While it is tempting to get caught up in the details of arguing why something is right or wrong, unless God is acknowledged as the source if all truth, the exercise will be unfruitful. Whether you are a modernist who believes truth can be known or a postmodern that claims truth can’t be known, the same dilemma applies. God is not the source of your knowledge. However, as Christians, we can say with absolute confidence to the people we address, “I believe it because God has said it.”

As all children take their cue from their parents, I did as well. To this day I refer to my elders with, “Yes sir” or “Yes mam.” We must instill that sense of respect in our children. However, we as adults must lead by example. Let us heed the words of the Apostle Paul, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” Let us redeem the art of conversation, therefore glorifying our Father in heaven.

- Jordan McGehee